As part of the “War Diary” project, we ask the youth of Ukraine how they perceive and experience the terrible, but in many ways decisive for our future, war events. These are students from different universities, from different parts of Ukraine, who, despite all the difficulties of the war, continue to study, create, work, and inspire others to self-development and creativity. Many of them are learning to write materials, to cover the most painful topic of today — war. Today I had the opportunity to talk with Kristina Chorba, whom I have known since my studies in Taurida National V.I. Vernadsky University. The girl talked about her experience of living through the war, shared her thoughts on various topical issues for our country and for all of us.
Kristina Chorba, a student of journalism at Taurida National V.I. Vernadsky University
My name is Christina, and I am 19 years old. I like to read books and write different texts. I am passionate about journalism. I am studying at the Taurida National University named after V.I. Vernadsky, majoring in “journalism”.
On the night of February 23, I fell asleep as a usual girl who followed politics, but always stayed away from it. I knew that there was a threat, but at the same time I didn’t believe in the beginning of the war, because international law works, it is not in vain that people study it, everything will work out. The next day shattered my vision of politics. I was confused and organized at the same time. I didn’t panic, which I’m proud of, but not understanding what will happen next was killing me. I was silent a lot that day, when my friends and I went to the bomb shelter, when eight of us sat in one room. There were a lot of explosions that evening, but we were silent, remembering the peaceful life of yesterday. Everyone was afraid, but some people were familiar with it, and for others it was a discovery. That night, we fell asleep in the same room. I sat down to write because I felt that if I speak, I can give free rein to my emotions. My friend asked me to read a fairy tale, it calmed her down, and I read aloud to everyone, cutting off the echoes of the explosions. And this fairy tale was not something funny and meaningless for everyone, everyone on that day wanted to feel the protection, the protection of their childhood. For the fairy tale, a friend drew a girl who characterized each of us. I called it “I’m just a human”.
Drawing “I’m just a human”
I never thought that one day you could wake up a different person, but it is possible. Yes, I woke up being different, sometimes I miss the previous Christina. You know, that day I had to go to work, I worked in the same art workshop with children, I had to work with adults as well. And no, I don’t like to draw or carve something, and I’ve never had a special flair. But it wasn’t necessary to have special skills to make children smile. I liked it only because I can give children happiness, simple joy. Everything disappeared, everything collapsed since February 24, except for my love for children, it is eternal. Vision? Yes, it has undoubtedly changed, I wont say now that I‘m apolitical, because that is a shame. I believe that such a person is simply not a conscious citizen of his country.
The media wrote about a possible war, didn’t they? I didn’t attach much importance to it. Maybe because I was interested in a more social sphere. I knew about something well-known, for example: “Putin joined the DPR and LPR to the Russian Federation”, I wasn’t particularly interested in the rest. My friend from Kharkiv went to Lviv a month before the war and wrote to me that the war would start. I answered simply and calmly: “Ulia, don’t make it up.” War in the 21st century is still a shock to me.
Was your town damaged during the war?
I am from Zakarpattia Oblast, and this corner of Ukraine is more or less safe. Only once was a rocket hit the town of Volovets and houses were damaged. Fortunately, there was nothing more.
During the entire time of the Great War, what stories and moments are most etched in your memory?
There are two stories and of course, because of my sentimental nature, they are related to children.
On February 24, when we were standing in line to go to the bomb shelter of the school, people from nearby houses also gathered around us. A 3-4 year old boy was standing next to him and tightly holding his mother’s hand. He didn’t understand what was happening, and against the background of this commotion near the school, he asked his mother: “Mom, today we have a holiday in kindergarten. I studied the poem. You’ll dress me up as a superhero, you promised.” And the mother was very confused and simply patted her son on the head without saying anything. Then I thought to myself, what should a mother answer to a child. Why should this child lose such beautiful moments of his life because of the aggression of another country? It was extremely difficult for me.
Another story happened when I was leaving Kyiv on March 1. I paid UAH 3,000 for a taxi, when its price was usually UAH 100. Then I felt for the first time that money has no meaning when it comes to life. And already at the station, one child was crying a lot, and the young mother came to the window, where I was also standing. And she began to calm the child with a story about a yellow plane that should paint this gray sky blue, and then everything will be fine. But there was one more nuance: it had to be painted by their dad, and only then would he return to them. You won’t believe it, but the child calmed down; even I believed that their father could paint this gray sky into a peaceful one.
Now almost all students are forced to study remotely, and the situation is worsened by poor communication and lack of light in many, almost all regions of the country. How does this situation today affect your studies and life in general? How much worse has it become to study?
Ah, this is the most painful thing today. I study very well at the university and never miss a class, but here in Zakarpattia Oblenergo it was decided to change something. They began to turn off the light when I have important lessons. As for the quality of education, I have always relied on the understanding that everything depends on you. You missed a class, so read the compendium yourself, you didn’t read it, so it’s clear that even during a class you wouldn’t be among the attentive listeners. But when the lights are turned off during my studies, it is always tears, hatred, and disappointment. I find any way to attend a class. If I don’t have internet, then my mother finds me at the corner of the bed, crying, depressed. Both cases are actually an interesting quest and experience. These are all jokes, but there is still some truth.
What was the fate of your friends, acquaintances, relatives, do you have someone who was forced to go abroad or is currently at war?
I have many such “birds” who have gone abroad. Since I’m the head of the institute and I know many people, almost every one of them wrote to me about burnout, saying “I can’t study anymore”, “I can’t stand it”, “I want to go home”. And at that moment I prioritize them and try with all my might to prove to them that they have a lot of power, so much that they don’t even imagine. One becomes a psychologist without education, but with a kind heart and full understanding that this is a momentary weakness. They will tell you about everything that hurts: that they have nowhere to return, but they are ready to sleep on the street, if only in Ukraine; that being away is good, but at home is better; they will tell that for the first time in their lives they are ready to go to university every day, without missing classes, if only the war were just a dream. Some students’ stories contain too much pain caused by the aggression of the Russian Federation. Will they be able to forgive Russia one day, which took away their usual life? Ask them, look them in the eyes, and you will find the answer even in silence.
As the New Year holidays approach, it is customary to make wishes for the coming year. Do you have such goals for 2023?
Until 2022, I thought I was in control of my life. Planning is fine, but I live in a country where nothing can be planned for tomorrow. I don’t plan anymore. I just live, maybe it will seem strange to foreigners, but my achievement is that I don’t fold my hands, but continue to live, like the whole country. I can cry, but it won’t help my Ukraine. To be honest, I learned a lot from my country. I didn’t even imagine that I could stand it.
“New year, new life.” Is that what they usually say? So let my wish be… I won’t say it, because then it won’t come true. A peaceful sky above everyone’s head, and everything else will surely be.
And it is careless and smiling Christina at work, 2021. Let everyone know me only like that.
Translator: Bohdana-Nikolietta Terekhina
