This story is about Ivanna Ponomareva – a mother, a travel agent, Ukrainian. Ivanna tells us about her life before the full-scale invasion, explains why she decided to stay abroad, no matter how hard it was, and shares her vision of our country’s future after the end of the war.
Tell us, please, about your life before the full-scale invasion
Before the war began, I lived in the town of Cherkasy with my husband and two kids. I worked in a travel agency, sent people to travel, people traveled a lot, so I had a lot of work. I have two daughters, both of them were going to kindergarten. My husband worked remotely, he had been living in Ukraine for more than 10 years but is a citizen of Russian Federation. Something like that, everything was fine back then.
2. A few weeks before the invasion, there was a lot of information noise. Did you expect war to start back then?
There were some conversations about it, but we didn’t want to believe that it was possible. I remember talking to my husband about it after watching the news, especially when, in the last weeks before the invasion, there was a lot of information about bomb shelters and survival kits. There were also issues related to my work: people often asked me about tickets abroad to wait out until everything was over, or whether they should go somewhere. Of course, I didn’t have an exact answer to the second question. My husband didn’t believe that the war could begin, and didn’t even want to talk about it. I don’t know, maybe it was some kind of psychological defense, but he laughed and thought it was simply impossible, said: “Are you kidding me, the war in the 21st century, with tanks as in WW2? No, don’t be silly. It’s impossible”. None of our friends believed in it, and none of them wanted to talk about it. Because, truly, we didn’t want to think about it. We wanted to believe that all of it was just some political game that wouldn’t go anywhere.
How was your February 24?
My family and I were already abroad on February 24. At this time, every year, my husband and I have a vacation and five days before the invasion we left Ukraine for Thailand and planned to stay there for 3 weeks. There is a time difference between Ukraine and Thailand; in Thailand we were five hours ahead, so when news about the beginning of offensive actions and about the first explosions began to appear (approximately at 5 a.m. in Kyiv time), we were already awake. We started to call our relatives, some of them were even wakened up by us, it was still early in Ukraine, many people were asleep: my parents, my brother, our friends. All day we spent on the phone, in connection with all our friends, with attempts to help somehow and somehow rectify. Of course, it was horrifying, and I didn’t understand how I could help from here, and simply didn’t believe in what was happening. It’s been 9 months, and it’s still hard to remember this day.
What was your life next?
It is hard to describe my emotional condition at that time: it was anxiety and, perhaps, despair, apathy. And all of these feelings were mixed, I think every one of us felt something like that then. The thoughts were different: at one time it seemed that I had to go home, be with my people, to fight somehow. But, on the other hand, I have two little kids, and I understood that here I would be at least calm in keeping them safe. And again, my husband is a citizen of Russian Federation, and we didn’t know how to come back and whether he would be able to cross the border. I had these thoughts for a long time, but eventually, my husband convinced me to stay here, in safety, and help from here. But I still have doubts if our decision to stay was right because I really want to go home.
In the first days, as well as the majority of Ukrainians who were abroad, we went to pro-Ukrainian demonstrations. Of course, we donated our savings to different charitable foundations and volunteer fundraisings. My husband and I also were telling our friends abroad about the war and agitated them to help Ukraine. We tried to help IDPs with clothes, with housing searches. We did everything we could.
What do you miss the most about Ukraine?
I have traveled a lot throughout my life and had the opportunity to live in different countries, but I always knew, that I want to live here, in Ukraine. There is nothing I don’t like about my home: the climate, the development of our country, the feeling of my Motherland. Everything inspires me there and gives me strength to move forward: evolve in my profession, I wanted to raise my children there. I miss all of this, I miss everything, they try to take away from us. Ukrainians have done a lot to make our country a great place to live in, maybe, out of jealousy, Russians are trying to take all of it away. So, yeah, I feel good everywhere, and I always loved to travel, but never wanted to live anywhere except Ukraine.
6. What difficulties did you face when you decided to stay in another country?
My family and I decided to stay in Thailand, this country is located in South-East Asia, very far away from Ukraine. That is why the people of this country are not so worried about the war in Ukraine, as, for example, Europeans, and of course, the country does not provide any social aid. And starting your life over here is, in fact, very difficult. Well, and certainly bureaucratic procedures. The official language of this country is Thai, but since this country attracts many tourists, so you can communicate in English with many people here.
All of this was also hard for my kids. On the one hand, they are small: the smaller only turned 4, and the older is 6, and at this age you adapt to changes quite easily, and on the other hand, they still understood that something weird was going on. If at first, they thought that it was just a vacation, then, after some time, they didn’t understand why we didn’t return home. They didn’t understand why they had to go to another kindergarten, communicate with other children, learn a new language. They felt our emotional condition, understood that something bad was happening. They couldn’t sleep at night, often had nightmares. We tried to explain to them what was happening and why we couldn’t go back home, it helped, but still, they miss their grandparents and other relatives, they miss their home.
Did you come to Ukraine during the war?
I came to Ukraine in August for a while. I went then without my husband and kids, I had to work out some personal issues and see my relatives. As my kids stayed in Thailand, I was in Ukraine only for three weeks, but these days were full of happiness.
I felt the invincibility of our people’s spirit, starting from the train to Kyiv. Most passengers were women with kids, returning to their homes. These people were returning home, despite all the danger, and this was one of these moments when you realize how strong Ukrainians are.
I would also like to say that there is a big difference between what you have imagined Ukraine would be now and what it really is. When you read the news, you think that people here live in constant fear and worry, but when you come here, you understand that it’s not like that. Instead of falling into panic and getting lost, the people of Ukraine got united and all started to work for a common goal – victory, and it is very inspiring.
How do you see Ukraine after war?
I see Ukraine as an even stronger and even more confident country than it is now. We have already shown the whole world that we won’t give up what is ours. We have already really united for the sake of victory, that’s why I believe that we will unite again to restore everything, the terrorist country has destroyed. Ukrainians are hard-working people, and the experienced horror will be a strong impetus for us to work on the prosperity of our country in the future.
Did the experience of these events change you somehow?
Of course, all of us have changed, and we will never be the way we were before the war. To live the very stories that you have only seen in the history book and listened to from your granny, of course, it changes you. Back then, when I read those stories about WW2, I thought that I understood what those people felt, but now I realize, that no, I didn’t. In fact, nothing, that could be read or listened to, could describe all the pain, those people went through. Now we will be those who will pass on to the next generations the understanding of importance of knowing your history and appreciating your Motherland.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Glory to Ukraine!
Glory to heroes.
Translator: Tania Novakivska
