My name is Vadym. I am a veteran. I have explosive injury, shrapnel wounds to my arm, and damaged nerves.
I was doing a combat mission that was assigned to us during an assault. It happened when I made contact with the enemy, and I received a grenade from them. It exploded near me. All I managed to do was hide behind a tree, but I didn’t make it all the way. My arm and head remained behind the tree. Shrapnel hit me in the elbow and face. It knocked out three of my teeth and severely damaged my nerves.
Everything happened so fast. My brothers-in-arms reacted immediately. They pushed through the mission and pulled me back. I was in shock, trying to stay conscious. The guys completed the mission, then took care of me and gave me permission to evacuate. I walked with a wounded leg (I had a bullet wound – got hit in the leg). It was wrapped with a tourniquet, compressed. I had to walk through the forest across a ravine for three kilometers. It took me three so painful hours. It was a miracle that I made it. I was exhausted, but I did it. At one point, I really thought I was going to die. The wounds were so bad, I could feel my body fading. It was a moment where life and death stood face to face, and I fought to stay alive.
I kept replaying those last words in my mind. The ones I said to my wife before I left. I told her I would come back. That I’d be home for 100 percent. That everything would be alright. The words she said to me, “I’ll be waiting for you”. It gave me strength and kept me going. I know it was God, too. Without question. There was nothing left in me. I didn’t even have the strength to lift a bottle of water to my lips and still, I walked. Three kilometers. Three hours. No support, no help, just me, my gear, and my rifle.
When they evacuated me, I spent three days without any connection to the outside world. No phone. They were moving me through stab points [editor’s note: stab point – the first point where the wounded receive medical aid]. Only when I got to the hospital, I asked a brother-in-arms for a phone. When I came to, I called my wife. She said that those three days when I was out of contact were difficult for her.
The treatment was really uncertain at first. No one knew what would happen with my arm. In fact, at the very beginning, they were considering amputating it. They just didn’t know how bad things would get. But in the end, they took a chance and left it as it was, hoping it starts healing on its own.
At first, I was in Poltava region. Doctors treated me there for a week, stitched me up, ran tests. Then I was transferred to the hospital in Lviv. I had several surgeries there too. Almost every month, they’d open it up again, check the nerves, clean them, pull out bits of shrapnel. Eventually, when things stabilized, they did a skin graft from my leg to finally close the wound. After that, they let me go home for two months. That time was a gift. I hadn’t been home for nearly a year. I lived like a normal person again. Honestly, it made a huge difference. I started doing simple stuff around the house and that helped bring some movement back to the arm. Just using it in real life pushed the recovery forward.
But there were still problems. My fingers were numb, and about a month ago I had to come in for another surgery. We’re just waiting to see how things go. Right now, I’m in active rehab. Working on movement, doing regular exercises. We’re hoping it’ll help.
I reached out to the organization “Neopalymi” because I heard they had great rehab specialists. It turned out to be true. I’ve been working with them, and they’ve really been helping. Sometimes it hurts, yeah, but there’s no real rehab without pain. Lately, we’ve started laser treatment for the wound. We’re at the stage of working on how the arm looks now.
Emotionally, it was really tough, especially that first month after the injury. Before that, we’d had so many military missions with the guys. We’d lost people, there was fear, stress, so much happened in such a short time. Then the injury on top of it all. It just hit me like a wave, and I was struggling.
At first, my body reacted, I had stomach issues, my hair started falling out fast. I couldn’t sleep. I had nightmares, constantly. That was one of the hardest parts. I worked with psychologists and therapists, trying to deal with everything in my head, the memories, the thoughts. I leaned on prayer, mine and my family’s. Honestly, thanks only to this, it seems to me, I managed to get out of depression, because it was really severe.
I have a little daughter, such a bright and happy girl. That’s the reason to keep going. My family. Who else would I live for, if not them?
I am actually a believer, a Christian since childhood, since I was 11 years old, if I’m not mistaken. God takes an active core in my life. It seems to me that thanks to Him, I got out of there alive. Maybe it was all meant to be this way. I believe, this is the first thing that gives you something to hold onto, gives strength, gives inspiration, joy. Maybe this is the first thing that helped me get out of depression.
Simple, trivial things help, like “good morning,” “good night,” “how are you feeling?”, some funny videos of children, how they play, just having fun. Maybe some small arguments that they asked me to help resolve, as the head of the family. Stuff that lets you just relax and take your mind off everything. That kind of family connection, I really missed it in the army. That small piece of home, even the arguments with my wife.
I’ve started reading books lately, which honestly surprised me. Mostly motivational, self-development and books that are recommended by well-known people. I spent most of my time studying before the army. I also worked as a computer technician in a school, making sure everything ran smoothly like internet, printers, all the tech stuff. I was in IT, aiming to become a programmer, but I didn’t make it to graduation. Things took a turn, and I had to go into the army. I’m trying to get back into my studies now.
Typing with both hands is still hard, but I watch video lessons and online courses. I’ve started learning English too. You can’t really go far in IT without it. So now, since I can’t use both hands properly, I’m working with my tongue, learning English.
I’ve changed a lot as a person. The army really transformed me. I guess I could say I grew up. I started treating myself better. Taking care of myself physically and emotionally, staying away from things that aren’t good for me.
Right now, I’m kind of trying to figure out who I am. I see a few possible directions for my future, and I’m actively working through what I want to do next.
I was 10 years old, my brother was 8 years old, when they took us from a dysfunctional family, took us to a very wonderful Christian family, where I grew up and became a good person, only thanks to them. Since we grew up in an orphanage, we want to open an orphanage. These are our plans for the future. We’re now actively working on this, continuing what my parents started. They’re older now and can’t keep going, so we want to take over and carry it on.
I really appreciate the value of a mother’s and father’s love, especially when you grew up without it and then someone gives it to you. I want to give some of that love back. My parents poured it into me, and I want to share it with other kids.
This is already the third year of war, and people have gotten used to the fact that there are really many wounded, and people even, sadly, don’t pay attention to this. I think simple gratitude would be really great, actually.
It’s important not to take it personally when people don’t understand you and what you’ve been through. They weren’t there. They just don’t know what it’s like. I’ve seen so many situations where soldiers and civilians argue, but honestly, most of the time it’s just a lack of understanding on both sides.
Talk more with your loved ones. Stay close to them. Be grateful to God. That’s the most important thing because as long as you’re alive, you still have the power to change the world.
Translator Yuliia Melnyk
